“NO INVESTMENT NEEDED”
(Jun. 17, 2020) — [Editor’s Note: The following is strictly satire.]
“We call it the ‘Whoppertunity Zones Program,’” said Durkan at a press conference yesterday where she announced the city of Seattle would be turning over two city blocks of what used to be valuable real estate, now known as CHAZ, to BLM et al Inc.
Mayor Durkan was referring to President Trump’s program to encourage investment in poorer, predominantly black neighborhoods and cities. “With Opportunity Zones,” the President had said, “we are drawing investment into neglected and under-served communities of America so that all Americans, regardless of zip code, have access to the American Dream.”
In Mayor Durkan’s plan there is no investment needed from evil capitalist corporations; she encouraged those corporations to give money directly to BLM et al Inc.
When asked if the city was going to give BLM et al Inc. the East Precinct which she ordered police officers to abandon during the riots, Durkan replied,
The Mayor estimates this ‘Whoppertunity Zone’ will create thousands of When asked for examples she replied
Contact for Press and Angry Seattle Citizens: 206-684-4000
Seattle Office of the Mayor @seattlemayorsoffice
WBDB’s = White Boys Dressed in Black